Baby Accessories Guru

I remember begin scared to death about the upcoming birth process.  Everybody had their own horror story about hours, pain, delivery and on and on.  Each worse than the last.

I’ll be the first to tell you it’s not a walk in the part.  But I also know the only way out is through.  Plus, it is definitely not the hardest part.  The terrible twos, of which I am sure there are some funny toddler clothes talking about, are not the hardest part.  The hardest part begins after they are born and never ends even after they move out.  The good new - It is the most rewarding and often happy times of your life.

The scientist say that a full night sleep to a baby is 5 hours.  I have a hard time with 9 sometimes.  But they consider this sleeping through the night for newborns up to about 6 months.  In fact some babies don’t actually sleep through the night, in the normal sense, until they are 1 or two.

No wonder mothers walk around in a daze half the time.  I got my second little one a funny baby tee that said “Insomniac”.  The other two slept through by the first month.

When I had my first son my sister in law drove me nuts.  She was 25 and her biological clock was almost gone?  I had to tear my son away just to nurse him.  I like babies, but jeeze.

The good news is she finally got married and now has 3 boys of her own - she no longer grabs for other people’s babies.    We have funny baby t-shirts for everything.

My house was always the place all my son’s friends came to.  It was very normal to have 10 teenagers here and not a clean glass left in the house.  It used to drive me nuts some day’s.  Just a little piece and quiet, that’s all I needed.  I guess it’s always feast or famine.  Now the house is so quiet and calm I actually took a nap yesterday.

That lasted about a week.  Now my youngest is old enough to bring over all his friends.  His usually include a couple of girls which is really different - even I have to be more polite.  It was beginning to sound like a truck stop over here.  The girls are all at that stage that when my neighbor comes over with her baby they get all “ga ga” (which would never happen with a boy.  They love the funny baby t shirts she always dresses her little ones in.  In fact they want me to get them some in their size - sorry, my clothing line only goes to 2 toddler.

Did you know some babies actually sleep with their eyes open?  It’s called “nocturnal lagophthalmos”.  It’s normal, but looks really weird.  They look like zombies just staring.  You could come up with some really funny baby shirts for these kids.

It can however lead to severe dry eyes because they don’t blink.  It can eventually scar the eyes.  Some babies, and adults, don’t close their eyes completely when they sleep.  This can lead to the same problems.

Some of the names celebrities are naming their kids are terrible.  How would you like to grow up as Banjo Patrick (Rachel Griffin) or Bronx Mowgli (Ashlee Simpson).   More than a couple have named their child Bandit.

Course I don’t have much right to talk.  We have some pretty strange name in the south.  My grandmother was named Pearl Vanilla and I had twins named Bergilda and Clothilda.  Of course, their middle names were Jane and Ann.  I don’t suppose you’ll see any of those names on a funny baby onesie.

I’ve talked a lot about the new puppy.  But I have failed to tell you about our “regular” dog.  A little boy asked us to watch her for a few hours a couple of years ago and he just never came back.  So now I have 2 doge and five cats - the cats can go, and the puppy for that matter also.

Between the two of them they are teaching each other their worst habits.  The older dog is learning how to jump up on you and at 90 lbs. thats a lot.  Just to return the favor the older dog is teaching the puppy to bark and moving objects, like wind, leaves etc.  The good news is the puppy will be moving out tomorrow with my son - but I’m sure she’ll be back - she’s not an apartment dog.  My son thinks he can fool the landlords and not say the dog is there yet, but even with some funny baby clothes on she won’t pass for a baby and he’ll have to come up with the extra deposit.

Did you mom ever sew?  Mine sewed all our baby clothing and then through most of our teens.  I used to hate it.  Then I got to buy something off the rack!! yeah!!  It was horrible.  I had no idea I had a personal custom tailor at home.  Of course by then she went to work and sewing wasn’t a priority.  She had the gall to think I had to learn how.

Well I learned how.  It’s been an,uh experience.  Babies and toddlers are much easier to sew for.  Men’s pants are impossible and women, some anyway, have too many curves.  Men shirts are okay, but for the most part, I’d rather crochet.  I find crocheting soothing, whereas sewing can be murder on your mood.

I’m supposed to make each blog varied - but I did do two jets almost in a row - it’s just that winter really does freak me out.  I love shorts, tank tops - the less the better.

Wool belongs on lambs, not humans or baby clothes.

No, no, it can’t be fall.  All ya’ll (yeah I said ya’ll) in the east love the fall.  You may have beautiful leaves but the best we can hope for is Indian Summer.  Don’t get me wrong, believe it or not, winter in Denver is pretty mild;  we are NOT the mountains, and suprising, we are also not a mile straight up.  I’ll never forget a guy asking me if it was hard on your car driving to Denver.

I love the snow, I just want to go to it, I don’t want it to come to me.  I freaked the other day when we got under 90 for a few days and someone said winter’s coming.  My psychiatrist assured me it was still summer and I had a few more days, maybe even a week before fall.  I just hope my meds hold out.  Here’s to all you who love the cold!  There aren’t enough baby clothes to keep me warm once it gets below 60!