Baby Accessories Guru

I’ve talked a lot about the new puppy.  But I have failed to tell you about our “regular” dog.  A little boy asked us to watch her for a few hours a couple of years ago and he just never came back.  So now I have 2 doge and five cats - the cats can go, and the puppy for that matter also.

Between the two of them they are teaching each other their worst habits.  The older dog is learning how to jump up on you and at 90 lbs. thats a lot.  Just to return the favor the older dog is teaching the puppy to bark and moving objects, like wind, leaves etc.  The good news is the puppy will be moving out tomorrow with my son - but I’m sure she’ll be back - she’s not an apartment dog.  My son thinks he can fool the landlords and not say the dog is there yet, but even with some funny baby clothes on she won’t pass for a baby and he’ll have to come up with the extra deposit.

Did you mom ever sew?  Mine sewed all our baby clothing and then through most of our teens.  I used to hate it.  Then I got to buy something off the rack!! yeah!!  It was horrible.  I had no idea I had a personal custom tailor at home.  Of course by then she went to work and sewing wasn’t a priority.  She had the gall to think I had to learn how.

Well I learned how.  It’s been an,uh experience.  Babies and toddlers are much easier to sew for.  Men’s pants are impossible and women, some anyway, have too many curves.  Men shirts are okay, but for the most part, I’d rather crochet.  I find crocheting soothing, whereas sewing can be murder on your mood.

I’m supposed to make each blog varied - but I did do two jets almost in a row - it’s just that winter really does freak me out.  I love shorts, tank tops - the less the better.

Wool belongs on lambs, not humans or baby clothes.

No, no, it can’t be fall.  All ya’ll (yeah I said ya’ll) in the east love the fall.  You may have beautiful leaves but the best we can hope for is Indian Summer.  Don’t get me wrong, believe it or not, winter in Denver is pretty mild;  we are NOT the mountains, and suprising, we are also not a mile straight up.  I’ll never forget a guy asking me if it was hard on your car driving to Denver.

I love the snow, I just want to go to it, I don’t want it to come to me.  I freaked the other day when we got under 90 for a few days and someone said winter’s coming.  My psychiatrist assured me it was still summer and I had a few more days, maybe even a week before fall.  I just hope my meds hold out.  Here’s to all you who love the cold!  There aren’t enough baby clothes to keep me warm once it gets below 60!

Did you ever notice once you had a baby or two they all sound the same.  You can tell if they’re mad, hungry, tired or whatever.  They may have different voices, but they all make the same noise.

I also noticed after my boys were toddlers and older I would hear a baby crying, say in the grocery store while I was standing in lane and I’d start rocking back and forth on my feet - were we programed or just “got it”, when all the others were saying “I hate when babies are crying and screaming!”  There are no funny baby clothes that express this weird knowledge.

My second son began dressing himself at 18 months old.  He refused to wear anything any one else picked out.  I’d go out and buy all these cool baby clothes and he’d put on the worst stuff he could find.

The topper was a pair of real cowboy boots that were black with bright red tips.  Green checked shorts,  striped shirt and a purple plaid flannel jacket over it all.  Of course the boots were on the wrong feet - but as he said “it’s so I can go any direction I want real fast”.

My youngest didn’t talk until he was 3.  His first word was mamma.  Then it changed to mom  when I got him some cool baby clothes that said mom.  Now all of a sudden, at 15,  he’s saying mamma again and I love you all the time (yes I am lucky).  Of course, my thought is “what do you want”.  Then I realized it was natural to him.

It always amazes me that the smallest signs of affections can mean so much.

This is a little redundant, but wouldn’t you like to get away for a while?  I mean really.  Washing diapers (some of us), baby tees, sockies, hats, onesies - doesn’t it seem like your baby wears about 8 outfits/day.  What do women do when they have to go to a laundromat, other than get prescriptions drugs from their Dr.?

Now when I fill out any type of info sheet and they ask for occupation & employer, I put, laundry maid, employed by 1 man and 3 small boys.  Gotta say, the pay sucks, unless you count smiles, hugs and sloppy kisses - yes from the grown man too!

Our terrorizing terrorist, Jazmine (puppy) has now learned to jump the fence, knock over the trash can and jump into the cars if the windows are open.

We don’t even want to go into what she does in the car - and then takes a nap in the back seat.  Newborns are easier.  You change their baby shirts when they spit up and change diapers and then sometimes they sleep.  They aren’t easy, but they don’t systematically destroy everything you own!

I had my first baby at 18.  You gotta remember 50 years ago in the south, by 17 you were married, forgot about school and were chained to the stove.  The good news was having a baby at that age is amazingly easy.   I went through 2 whole hours of labor and my stomach was actually concave after giving birth.

My next kids (having learned my lesson and getting a life) were born at 36 and 40.  I know it’s the current thing, but my body just told me I was stupid to put myself through it.  At 18 I could almost were baby shirts, at 40 I wore a moo moo for the first 3 months.  Then thanks to nursing I was back to my normal weight by 6 months.