Baby Accessories Guru

Did you mom ever sew?  Mine sewed all our baby clothing and then through most of our teens.  I used to hate it.  Then I got to buy something off the rack!! yeah!!  It was horrible.  I had no idea I had a personal custom tailor at home.  Of course by then she went to work and sewing wasn’t a priority.  She had the gall to think I had to learn how.

Well I learned how.  It’s been an,uh experience.  Babies and toddlers are much easier to sew for.  Men’s pants are impossible and women, some anyway, have too many curves.  Men shirts are okay, but for the most part, I’d rather crochet.  I find crocheting soothing, whereas sewing can be murder on your mood.

ell time for more baby talk.  Funny baby tees, onesies, toddler clothes, etc.  There is so much to pick from in baby clothes.  20 years I found the coolest diapers.  They were cakked B-52’s.  How appropriate.  I can’t find them anymore.

I wish I could describe how they look - but the fit is perfect - even from newborn it doesn’t look like they are even wearing a diaper.  The best way I guess to describe them is they look like a finger tip bandaid with one side having longer strips.  When they are little you can use one pin to pin both sides and the front togeter.  As they grow you just spread out the strips until you are using one pin.  Strips doesn’t really describe it - but you get the idea.  I wish I could find them again.  They are better than disposable.  The only leak I ever had was when my baby got diahrrea.

No, this isn’t Gage, it’s Judy!  Do you know the best part of having babies is making them - even if it’s just practice.  I get tired of being sterotyped because I’m a mom.  I like sex, and I am lucky enough to have a wonderful husband who doesn’t make me work 24 hrs/day to keep the house, kids, yard and everything else running while he works then comes home, turns on the TV and has a beer and then bitch about no sex.

The old joke - which should be on some funny baby clothing - What’s the difference between a mistress, whore and wife.  The mistress says “more, more”, the whore says “deeper, deeper” and the wife says “beige, I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.  Listen up men!  I never want to hear “if momma ain’t happy no one is”.  There is a reason for that!  We can make you happier than you ever dreamed and it’s so easy - HELP OUT!  It will be worth it!